(Tumblr doesn’t like my computer anymore so I’m doing my ask this way)
Ah young love. You two are sweet.
One thing I can offer is my own experience: I recently went through a long distance thing with this awesome guy. We were on separate continents for A YEAR, and he’s in events so always hanging out with pretty hotel reps or bartenders who adore him, because he’s charming and wonderful. Sometimes there would be pictures, and it would irk me for a second, then I’d remember, “Oh that’s right, I’m awesome, and if he doesn’t realize that he’s the stupidest person ever. Plus that chick would probably be awesome to have a drink with.” For me that’s the thing, having enough confidence in myself to not worry about what he’s doing. You’re obviously very cool and motivated. How FUCKING STUPID would he have to be to throw that away!! Seriously!
The thing for me was I like this guy. I like talking to him. I like hearing his voice. I like when he spends a night getting completely wasted with his chick friends and guy friends because he goes home after that and just wants to talk to me. He likes me. For a year overseas, we liked each other. That was 2012 and we STILL like each other today.
I don’t like the word trust. To me, trust means I still get that icky feeling but I talk myself out of it. Which isn’t how it should feel! With this guy, it’s about being partners. He calls me out on my shit and encourages me in everything. I can introduce him to an old friend WHO I SLEPT WITH and never feel uncomfortable. So that’s pretty damn cool.
Anyway, got off track gushing about how cool my guy is.
NAVY GUYS, right, well, here’s a horror story: we went on deployment, 6 of my friends were married. 6 months later coming home, 5 were getting divorced.
But I do also have sweet stories, like the guy who found a phone in a Singapore bar to phone his wife aww. Plus, he was hanging out with me, a GIRL, and guess what, after that we got all drunk with our friends, then we didn’t bang. There’s such a thing as going a little crazy (as we have been couped up inside a ship in the middle of a lonely ocean), and not doing anything gross or weird. Happens a lot really! Sometimes we share hotel rooms to keep costs down and STILL no banging! We were all more interested in a big fatty meal, good beer, good shopping, a foot massage (totally took my Navy guy friends to get foot massages), maybe a tour if we weren’t too hungover, and good conversation.
More crazy things: We’d go to hotel bars in Dubai and try to figure out which women were prostitutes. We went on safari tours to a touristy Bedouin camp where we got henna tattoos and ate everything. We went to a Hong Kong pub where we met tons of expats, befriended random businesspeople and got shopping tips. That is the fun crazy side of port calls for me and my friends.
In my opinion, the best thing for you to do is give it a chance, don’t put any pressure on yourself or him, just have a good time! You’re young, maybe the relationship will work, maybe it won’t, no one can tell you how the future will go, not the Navy or anything you’ve heard about it, and especially not me. You two obviously care about each other enough to give it a chance. Smile and give him a big hug the next time you see him. That’s all any of us can do!